God.. Is this how U create men? Unreasonable and unpredictable?

well im experiencing some confusion now.. thts most probably y im not doing well int he walk with God.. As a christian.. and a young one, i have alot of questions in mind..
well i dunno im nt condemning or anything... My moms here juz reached n furthermore my grandma's here.. I missed them.. I seldom get to see them.. yea i know im nt suppose to upset my Heavenly Father, but what abt the 10 commandments, Honour my parents.. They r old, n what if TMR never comes? what if they die tmr? n i dont get the chance to let them noe i love them? God wudnt it b worse for me?
yea i know i have to let them know sooner or later im in church, but well, they know alrdy.. Bt somehow i have to accompany them when they r here.. IT's not like im killing someone, or im commiting sin.. Issit abt the attendance? tht u guys r doing all this? its senseless... When u guys can miss ur parents... n we cant? if tht's the way it goes, forget it :) i might as well find my own way to seek God n His Kingdom.. For if I honour Him He will Honour Me, But Yet It said We r Made imperfect.. And its no wrong to commit sins... Im trying my best here...

And it's not knocking any sense.. None of my 5 senses.. I wont go into detail abt this.. Bt i canot believe what i hear..and how they try to get things their way..
yes its all abt the willingness to sacrifice the pain.. But hey.. I get to see them only when they get the chance to come.. What am i suppose to do? and i miss them hell damn much... U guys shud rly try to close ur eyes n put ur souls in my SHOES. perhaps u wont know coz u see ur mom uncles aunts grandmoms dads every signle day of ur life.. I din choose it this way.. I wudnt wanna miss the chance to spend with my Mom, when they r still alive.

n Im struggling with a relationship problem with my mom.. trying to patch things up, n make it better... trying my best.. by going out when she just reached? her impression of me can juz go down to hell.