i wish i could run away,
run away from all these mess and all these pain.

i wish i can find a place to hide.
a place where there's no sorrow.

i wanna stop shedding my tear,
i wanna stop hurting this heart of mine.

i want my peace,
i wanna be happy..

if only i can go to a place, so far..
if only...

enough is enough..
i cant take it anymore..
we gotta stop.

dont call me,
dont find me anymore.
get out of my life
get out of my heart,
now n forever.

n thanks for the memories..
i really hoped they'd never happened.
i will try my best to erase u frm my memory.

u failed to make me happy,
and i failed to complete u..
bye baby.
i love u no more.

in the end i decided to let go. i couldnt give a single shit no more. i dont know what the hell he wants or trying to. but if LD is so fkin hard for him then just stop. dont waste my time coz its precious. and so far dia blum kabar2in gw ma skali. lol jujur ajah smua kt2 dia bkin gw enek n ilfil.. lets just move on n live life as per normal.
i surely hope this is the best for us. now we've got nth to worry. i dont care what he does, even if he's with someone new, to hell with that. i dont give a shit. pikir lah bego2, dah tau LD susah, yet he wanted to go easy on the r/s. what a bullshit? of coz gw sbagai cewe tkt lah dia maenin gw.. emank dia ga tau apa rasanya? coba lah lu ada cewe yg lu syg bgt n dia ngm bgt? lol dr pertam amah jgn d jalanin. i made such a big mistakes.. dah let this be a lifee lesson. i've made up my mind, i wont have a LD r/s anymore.i swear. i used to think long distance itu gampang n possible. now i think otherwise. thx eh.

LOL NOW FREEDOM. for him n for me.. :D somehow gw lega... yah tc boy... have a good meaningful life :D we're through.. thx for everything. i learnt so much when i was with u.. thx for tht as well :)

anyway dah ga mo pusingin gituan lg, the show must go on. skrg gw lg sibuk bgt ma wedding koko gw yg bakal berlangsung bsk... OMG BSK n im so not ready.. lol pdhal gw bkn apa2 :P yah whatever tht is im happy for my bro n my sis in law :D

N NEXT so far my losing wt program lg doing very well! LOL ^^ senennnggggnyaa daku.... and i wont stop here :D i will keep going ampe gw jadi LANGSING. lol gila yeh? bodo dah ^^
dah ah mpe sgini dolo.cau!

sometimes i really hate myself for hurting the people i love most.
kemakan sm emosi,n so tanpa mikir2 lagi gw berbuah seenak jidat. gw suka teriak2, lempar2 kata2 kesat n tajam, yg sbenernya ga perlu bgt. cuma gr2 emosi. seblum gw tau apa yg sbenernya terjadi, gw lgsg jump into my own conclusion.

wekaness gw adlh ini sbagai manusia yg ga sempurna. and slalu mikir negatif. sering kali gw coba untuk brubah.. tp gagal.. bisa d blg si gw dah meningan jauh d banding dlu. dlu gw sangat egois, lebih emosional dr skrg dan pikiran gw ga pernah lurus ttg seseorg.. though i've changed, tp tetep ajh gw PArAh.
ampe detik ini pun gw masi suka ngelukai hati org yg gw sayangin..

sedalam2nya gw mo minta maaf sm Dicky yg slalu gw omelin tanpa sebab...
Ci ica yg kadang kena jg gara2 emosi gw..
Nyokap gw yg slalu kena... emank si dia ada slh. tp yah ga ada slhnya jg klo gw cuekin...

sorry ya guys i hope u can forgive me.. im still changing for the better.. so pls dont give up on me, and keep giving me ur utmost support...
~Thanks a bunch ~

hellow guys! tadi i mam sushi tei di EX. trus bli buku " why men love bitches "
pas baca summarynya gw lgsg tertarik.. and now im reading a lil bit of it... browsing thru the book.

chapter pertama ajh dah interesting.. nih.. "

-anything a person chases in life, it runs away.especially when it comes to dealing with a man. with one caveat: if u chase him in a black nightie, first he'll have sex with u... n then he'll run.

Why does a man run frm this situation like this one? he runs because the woman's behaviour doesn't suggest that she places a high value on herself. the r/s is new, and the bond between them is relatively shallow. yet she's alrdy dealt her best card.

... Trueeee..! hauahuahuahuahauhauha yah itu awal2nya chapter pertama..~
and this one is soooo true! " whenever a woman requires too many things from a man, he'll resent it. Let him give what he wants to give freely; then observes who he is."

Yup so i'll blog about this again next time when i start reading the book ^^
CIAO*

Current Goal, Lose 10-15 KG within 3-4 Months.

-No Food after 4 p.m.
-Healthy Snacks only.


~~~Get Slim and Sexy and b pretty as hell..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ima be someone strong, smart and appreciated.

i've been into so many troubles in my life.
i've shed liters of tears.
i've had sleepless nights.

i once faced a self crisis.
thinking of every ways to end all of this.
to die was my only wish.
i envied all of them with good life.
who smiles all the time, so problem-free.

but now everything is different.
things turned 180 degree.
People envy me now,
cause i'm having such a great life.
i'm smiling all the time,
having butterflies in my stomach now and then.
so enthusiastic, so upbeat.

u know, i do thank god for creating Adam to accompany Eve.
and i'm even more thankful that he created Dicky to accompany me.
so now u know don't u?
the biggest reason of the drastic changes in my life..
The one who made my hell into heaven..
it's him... Dicky.

Hellow miss blogspot! i'm here yet again to express myself ~
huuhuhuhuhuuhuhuhuhuh ga krasa lho hari ini dah tgl 10... 11 hari lgi yayankuw balik~ n 9 hari lg cica ku balik.. gw bener2 ga sabar bgt.. counting down the days got me really excited.. im totally expecting both of them real soon.. I CANT WAIT ANYMORE >.< i just hope there's a remote control to fast forward the time..
well2 my cupang has grown bigger by a little.. gotta admit it's got an exotic colour... i love it~ i gave it blood worm twice a day and cleans its aquarium once in 2-3 days~

heuehuehuehuehue i guess this is the first time i enjoy keeping a pet... of all pets, i prefer fish xD heeeuehuehuehuehu tp gw masi mau bli cactus nie.. cactus2 gw yg dlu MATI T_T hiks2

huhuhuhuh anyway dah ah mpe sini dlu.. lg nunggu the king of my heart to reply me on my msn.. n i know he's prolly GAMING! have fun ya sayankuw:D i'll be waiting~ muah muah i love u so much.. please come back soon.. i really need u by my side... love u!

huuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiii ^^
abis bantuin mama bresin daster dia, sm beresin baju papa n ping2~ gmn ya kabar mama d sg... kangen jg.... rmh jdi sepi tanpa mama n ping2 T_T tp btr lg mreka balik n they bring cica along.. ASIKKKKK!
kyknya june's gonna bt the best mth of 2008 dhe... soalnya bis nyokap n cica balik dr sg... bbrp hari kmudia cintakuw jg BALIKKK!!!
gw bener2 ga sabar.. ga sabar nunggu.... stiap hari gw berharap spaya cpt berlalu... n when they're all back i wish the time would stop T.T
dud2 cptan blik ya... tgl 21 cptan balik plis.. gw dah kangen berat nieee.... >.< cant wait to see u again, feel u, smell u, kiss u, hug u.. Just u!... ARGH!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DAH ah jd gregetan ndiri nie.... makin d pikirin makin kangen ! WOOOO...
cica nti pas lu blik kta soping yah! kta diet breng.. lu kan balikny bakal lama kali ini.. kta crita2~ kita ntn, kta party~ ^^ SO MANY THINGS I WANNA DO WITH U! so much to talk abt..~ tar kta bobo bareng~ gw klitik2in pantad u sperti pas d SG.. awas ya gw bakal bales dendam...! ^^muah2 miss ya babe..

trus dud2! ntar pas km balik kta k MG2!!! nyari tas n dompet yg bagus sesuai rencana~ makan d tpt faforit... esp jimbaran >.< i can hear it calling our names..! hihihihiihih trus kita ntn pastinya...! maen Timezone lg itu harus.... mengembang biakan tiket~ heheheheeh trus km harus ikut ak k Bogor nti rame2! n we BBQ there ^^ km masak yah dud pas d sono, yg enak2 sperti km masak d melb~
SERUUUU IHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH ADUHHH CEPETAN BALIK YAH PLIS!

Hey blogspot~ gw bis pgi mkn ma papa d eaton~ mama n ping2 dah cabut k sg~ have fun guys.. trus gw td canda ma nykap blg gw mo LV ! HAHAHAHAH ^^ well2 btr lg gw mo olahraga d treadmill mama~ sejem boooooooo ^^ must lose weight nehh!!

anyway2 gw lg on fire lg neh buat Ikan Cupang~ i loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee cuPangS~ beautiful fish... gampang d rawatny jg... makannya blood worm which is so cheap~ 5000 gitu~ dah gt bisa last ga tau brp lama... buntut cupang klo mekar itu cakep bgt.. GW SUKA D POKOKNA! rencananya seh gw mo bli 1 aquarium mini nanti.. tunggu koko gw merrid.. n hopefully gw dapet kamar sendiri.. kan koko move out~ gw mo taro aquarium kecil d kamar gw~ i'm gonna make it beautiful~ decorated with stones, n fake plants.. gw mo taro ikan hias yg kcil2 nanti~ trus next to it gw mo taro cactus mini ~ GW jg suka ma cactus~~ ^o^ HIHIHIHIHIH JD SENENG SENdiri mikirinnya.. dah ahhhh mo burn fats dlu~~ CiaO*~

Cinta itu sbenernya apa si?
kenapa Cinta itu begitu membingungkan?
kadang Cinta bisa bikin g ktawa.
Kadang Cinta jg bisa bikin gw bertahan hidup..

Aneh tapi nyata..
Cinta jg bisa bikin gw nangis..
Cinta bisa bikin gw gila..

Lebih kerennya lg,
Cinta kadang bikin gw buta. Sampe2 gw ga sadar apa yg gw sdg lakukan.. Bahkan sometimes cinta bisa bikin gw mlakukan hal2 yg gw kira it was impossible.

Kenapa ada Kata Cinta... Ada Prasaan Cinta.. Cinta itu emank aneh yah... Dan gw rasa, gw adalah salah 1 Victim Cinta....

Duh Tuhann~~ plis plis plis plis give me all the strength that i need. Let me be someone who'd persever in whatever im doing. Let me achieve my ultimate goal.. Since gw ga bisa k melb taon ini... The least i can do is to enter monash Jkt for 6 mths, then leave for Melb. I wanna go to monash-Gippsland..

Ndud cayanq pliss wait for me while i'm here. with all my might, i will get my AsS there~ im damn sure abt it.. tp janji ya klo ak nanti berhasil k sono, qta haruZz bljr yg bener~ yg serius! biar bonyok nyetujuin qta, and of course bangga^^ just want u to be happy when u're with me..There's so manyyy things i wanna do with u klo ak dah ke sono!! mau olahraga bareng * KURUSIN BADAN BRreng n also hidup sehat! ^^ * blajar bareng pastinya~ shopping bareng~ masak, bobo, jalan2, ketawa, nangis, nonton, kentut, sedih, seneng, smuanya bareng... ~~~ pengen bgt ngobrol2 ktawa2 seblom bobo~ ADUHH DUDDDDDD i just know im gonna make it happen for us XP makanya km sabar2 nungguin ak yach! lup u dudie!

lately gw lg asik bgt baca buku2 yg bisa d kategorikan " self improvment books ". i just finished a book by fiona harrold - the 7 rules of success. honestly the book inspires me. Taught me to grasp onto my dreams and taught me to be pragmatic and optimistic about any situations, good or bad. And now i'm starting on a new one, Dare To Fail. xD

anywho, my plan on losing weight has been going really well~ i'd spent an hour on the treadmill 3 to 4 times a week~ and i totally watch my food intake. Gotta lose weight, for myself and of course for my baby boo ^^

OKAY THIS IS IT, gotta call my love~ ciao*

Kadang gw berharap Hidup bisa brubah mnjadi lbh sederhana than it is now.. everythings simple.. u can easily get wat u want, n u have everything ur way.. tp klo d pikir2 it would b stupid having a life like tht.. hidup cuma skali.. kapan lg coba? yah klo hidup itu smua penuh dgn jawaban2 yg ada d dalam hati kita, wouldnt it b boring.. sometimes i do thank god for problems.. cause problems make me grow stronger and of course more matured in many ways.. yes, tp masalah gw ga bakal makin dewasa.. maslah it banyak, bkn cuma ttg ekonomi lu, or kuarga.. Ttg cinta jg bisa jd masalah.. Skolah/Kerja jg bisa.. banyak dhe pokoknya.. n everyday pasti ada yg namanya masalah.. tp itu smua trgantung kita.. gmn kita ngehadapin smua itu..
just think abt it.. would prefer being someone who go crazy everytime hidup lu ad masalah? or lu lbh prefer jd tipe yg relax, calm and cool..n mikir klo smua mlsh itu pasti ada solusinya? klo gw si tntu gw prefer jd yg kedua.. knp bgt?
gw si mikirnya gini, dr kecil dah bnyk bgt masalah yg gw hadapin..pas gw masi bayi, masalah gw adlh bljr jalan n ngm.. bis gt masalah skolah, mslh temen, maslh penampilan.. mpe ke relationship and keuangan.. banyak kan?n gw dah lewatin itu smua ga tau gmn caranya.. d pikir2 bego bgt klo gw strss pas lg ada problems.. karena akhir2nya pun mslh itu bakal berlalu.. so stress or ga stress pokoknya they will come to past right? IF U R STRONG! jd ngapain stress? cuma bkin cell otak mati.mending nyantai ajah n mikir cara yg tpt buat masalah itu.. Dun ever run away from it.. Problems are there to bring all of us up to the next level of life.

hi para pembaca yg setia.. WAKkaKAaaqq..
i am skrg lg d kantor , d ruangan koko.. dah mo plg btr lg.. bosen d bawah ga ada kerjaan, jadi nimbrung d sini ajeh dhe, sbari check2 fs and kasi2 komen ke 2 org tcinta..

cicaaaa...kasian dia lg ad mslh.. coba ajah lu d sini lu pasti ga bakal ada mslh2 bgituan.. ada pun u wont feel that bad lah yah.. at least ad kita2 d sini..! tenang ya. hang in there, i just know u're gonna find someone better..!

DUTiIiiEee..!!! kuangen brat ma ndudku yg lg d gipsland.. adui... just cant wait to see u again..thinking of the moments we had pas km lg d sini kmren... ke mm,ta,ex,ancol.. KE SMUA TPT!>.< kangen dud... i miss eating hachi2 with u... i miss laughing like mad with u.. i miss everything.. bener2 klo ajah ak bisa mempercepat berjalannya waktu.. ! IHHHH >.< i need u dud...! MWAH!

and now abt myself... sperti biasa, life can be beautiful but it's not always that beautiful.. i've got a problem.. my major plan had just been ruined yesterday.. it was my biggest plan n my biggest dream. dont think i need to type it down here.. so just skip it.. anyway the good thing is, in every dark corner of my life, there's always a lil spark of light.. and as i get closer to it, the light gets brighter, and BAMMMM problem's solved.. Not that it made me have my big dreams back.. but i think of other ways.. i talked to my lup for hours abt it.. and finally we managed to get out of that freakin problem :D and yes life still goes on..
And its still beautiful :D

Well well, gotta stop here, need to hit the toilet.. CIAO~ smell ya ltr^^

-dKny's out-

HaLlowwWw smuanyah~ heuehuehu akhirnya blogkuw ini ketauan jg dhe ma dudutku tecinta..~ pdhal kan harusnya kan surprise..tp gpp~ ini jg udh cukup menjadi surprise koq kan lup2 ga tau klo i blogged this huheuheuhe ~XD
anyway2.. Haduh2 lg ada mslh besar ni.. but i wont let this problem mengacaukan smuanya.. ga bakal dhe bisa ngacauin plans gw yg bakal dtg in abt mmmmm 60 days! heuheuheuehuehue i've got some big plans going on right now, n im gonna do whatever it takes to make it happen.. !

anyway... 1/4/08 marks the 3 mths anniversary of my bf n me.. HEHEHEHE coz we got together officially on 1/1/08.. sayank, slamat 3 bulan yah! :D just one word, Beautiful.. 3 bulan yg begitu banyak kenangan, begitu berkesan.. i'll always treasure the moments we had.. and skrg rasa sayank ak buat km itu smakin dalem~ thank u ya dud for being such a wonderful someone.. ~ ur imperfections make u simply Perfect~

how well gw dah mau back to work ah, lunch time's over~ gotta read some book if i dont have any work to do.. :D ciao!

ps: cica iye2 say gw bakal blog klo gw bisa ya ^^ heuheueh love u!


-DKNY-